reading list 09

their eyes were watching god

the subterraneans

death of ivan ilych

state of the union

holidays on ice

dress your family in corduroy and denim

when you are engulfed in flames

the dharma bums

jimi hendrix: the man, the music, the magic

sex for one

elliott smith and the big nothing

losing my religion

siddhartha

i know why the caged bird sing

infidel

cunt

scum manifesto

the thing about life is that one day youll be dead

the thoreau you dont know

in progress

i used to see happiness as weakness
used to point at every content being as a fool
every comfortable person as drugged and naive
but now i see some flaws in my train of thought

the cyclical unhappiness hatred produced almost killed me
broke down, but not dysfunctional
im going to take you head on, whatever the price

i held onto you like a best friend and now im a bitter uninhabited body
youre ivy in my gut, your roots are deep
i know youll come barging through the door again, telling me how things are
but this conditional relationship has had one too many chances
you forced me under the surface every single time i came up for air
promising me it was better underneath, promising me i had it figured out

ive seen what youve had to offer
it kept me captive for four years

revision

i have been previously quoted as saying,
"the most pleasurable sensation a human being can feel is taking a headband off after a long day."
i would like to revise that statement to read,
"the most pleasurable sensation a human being can feel is having a best friend back after a long long absence."

lovers spit

social conditions create the illusion of free will.


chance: the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted, understood, or controlled.

reincarnation . . .

if true,
i want to be a gargoyle.


hear that, god?

dont they know i cant read lips?

every six weeks my mother, without a doubt, comes home unsatisfied with her haircut. if the distain is not immediate, it is apparent within a week. she curses the stylist. and it seems a repetitive statement 'i need a haircut so bad'. i calculate in my head, the prior week becky at tangles was tested. and failed. whether its her bangs are too short or the back is too thick, a complaint is always found. so, she goes to a new, more expensive stylist publicly renound and celebrity endorsed. but still comes back discontent. and i am left questioning, is it really the haircut or stylist? will she ever be satisfied?



. . . reflecting on the past eighteen years,
the answer is no.

you can lead a man to water, but you cannot make him drink.

i dont want what youre leading me to. i wasnt born to eat, buy, and procreate.